


A Ketchmas Carol

by Harpless



Category: Supernatural
Genre: #Ketchmas, #christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-20 01:59:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17013414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harpless/pseuds/Harpless
Summary: Ketch gets Scrooged.





	1. Chapter 1

INT. BUNKER – CHRISTMAS EVE 

SAM and DEAN are packing up gear. KETCH is standing by the table near them, his head bandaged and a serious set of stitches along his left cheek.

SAM  
   You'll be good here?

KETCH  
 Yes, Sam, I think the trained assassin and soldier of fortune, can take care of himself in the most secure place on earth for an evening.

SAM  
  I just mean, you took a serious blow there.

KETCH  
 Yes, quite, however I assure you your worry is misplaced. I could still be of assistance on your mission.

DEAN  
 Whatever, Creepingham Palace. No way you didn't concuss that massive melon of yours, so let’s not take chances when we don’t need to. We’ll have plenty of time for stupid decisions later. But hey, on the up side, that slash on your face is going to leave a sexy scar.

KETCH  
(giving Dean a knowingly over-the-top flirtatious glance)  
You think?

DEAN  
Gross.

KETCH  
Fine. I shan’t be rude to my hosts by arguing further. You lads have a good hunt and give my regards to your mother.

DEAN  
Double gross. But yeah, sure, we'll tell her AND Bobby you said hi.  
 

SAM and DEAN pick up their bags, head up the stairs.

  
SAM  
Oh, Ketch, there are more pain meds on the counter and ice packs in the freezer if you need them.  
  
KETCH  
(as close to sincere as he gets)  
Thank you, Sam, I appreciate that.  
  
DEAN  
Yeah, and I just stocked the fridge, so you're covered there too. But listen, I’m gonna want to make pancakes later, so if you see a dozen eggs in the fridge, don’t mail them anywhere, okay?  
  
KETCH  
(grumbles)  
I’ll mail you anywhere…  
  
DEAN  
What was that?  
  
KETCH  
Cheerio!  
  
DEAN  
Yeah.. pip pip, corn flake...

The bunker door closes behind them. 

  
  
**INT. BUNKER GYM**

KETCH  
Well now, this seems like an excellent opportunity to work off some of this excess energy and resentment.

 

C&C Music Factory’s ‘Make you Sweat’ plays.  
  
TRAINING MONTAGE:  
A shirtless KETCH warms up with some stretches. It is obvious that he is far more flexible than anyone would expect of an Englishman. CAMERA PANS OVER HIM, CUTTING IN TIME WITH THE MUSIC He transitions from shirtless yoga into bare-chested Krav-Maga. He then shirtlessly transitions to Capoeira, displaying shockingly high high-kicks and a sense of rhythm also unusual to the British. SERIES OF QUICK CUTS Expertly fencing,  bare-chestedly running and toplessly lifting weights.    
CUT TO: KETCH leaning on the treadmill, sweaty, panting and just so, so, shirtless.... takes the top of his water bottle, pours it over himself and SLO-MO shakes his head, dispersing sexy droplets of water around the gym.  
  
FADE OUT

 

 **INT. BUNKER - LATER THAT EVENING**  
  
Ketch is sipping scotch and reading.  
The silence is broken by a loud pounding at the front door. Ketch gets up and checks the video monitor that they really should have set up outside. He sees no one there and draws his gun.

  
Ketch  
Who's there?

  
The pounding noise now comes from inside the bunker - the wall across from him. It moves from wall to wall, growing louder.

  
KETCH  
Show yourself!

  
There’s a puff of smoke that KETCH immediately shoots into. The smoke quickly dissipates revealing DR. HESS, now with two bullet holes in her forehead.

  
KETCH  
This dream again?

  
HESS  
You’re not dreaming Arthur. I’m here in an attempt to save you.

  
KETCH  
Save me… from what? Cliche entrances?

  
HESS  
From yourself, from your current path. Before you end up like me...

KETCH  
Are you in Hell? Because I could just pop by. Security really isn’t as...

  
HESS  
Much worse. Purgatory.

  
KETCH  
Purgatory? How? I thought that place was just for leviathan and handsome vampires... from what I’ve heard, at least.

  
HESS  
It used to be, more or less, however during his brief reign, Asmodeus decided Hell was too comfortable for some of us. He loosening Purgatory's entrance criteria.

  
KETCH  
I am sorry to hear that... but what can you possibly do to help me avoid the same? I'm fairly certain the die was cast for me long ago.   
  
HESS  
You still have your soul.  
  
KETCH  
Yes, but I can’t imagine it’s the brightest biscuit in the bunch.  
  
HESS  
Souls can be repaired, Ketch, mended. No matter the magnitude of you misdeeds, there remains a chance for redemption. You fight in the AU demonstrated that there is a flicker of hope for you. The fact that the Winchesters have allowed you to remain with them demonstrates that others have seen this as well.  
  
KETCH  
They tolerate me, although I suspect I’ve more than worn out my welcome… which was only attained via bribery to begin with.

  
HESS  
Tonight you’ll be visited by three ghosts...

  
KETCH  
Really? Three ghosts on Christmas Eve? I take it back, your entrance was not the most cliche thing about this fever dream. Tell me, if I ring a bell will the angels get their wings back?

  
HESS  


  
Don't be insipid. Arthur.  Since when are famous ghost stories not based on fact? Charles Dickens was well down the path to damnation before he was... inspired... to write 'A Christmas Carol'. 

KETCH  
Very well. Whatever you say... three ghosts it is! I do hope I wake up before...

KETCH jolts up from the sofa. His book on the ground, but he still somehow managed to hold the scotch glass without spilling a drop. The television is on and playing a scene in Scrooged in which Bill Murray is watching a scene from A Christmas Carol.

KETCH  
(to himself)  
Maybe I did hit my head harder than I realized...

  
There is a metallic thump from down the hall and a scraping noise moving closer.  The Hyperbolic Pulse Generator rolls up to him and stops at his feet. 

KETCH picks up the golden egg and looks around the bunker confused.

  
KETCH  
Where? What?

TONI BEVELL walks into view.

TONI  
I believe you allowed this to be destroyed?  You really need to take better care of your toys, Ketch.

  
KETCH  
Lady Bevell... or do you go by Ghost Bevell now?

  
TONI  
I wouldn’t think the man who slit my throat would be concerned about pleasantries at this point.

  
KETCH  
I’m a monster, not an animal!

  
TONI  
So you are. And were up to me I’d have judged you as an irredeemable one, but for some reason, some force thinks you’re worth trying to save.

  
KETCH  
You disagree?

  
Toni walks to spot in the bunker where she died.

  
TONI  
Where exactly was it you killed me again... about here, I think?

  
KETCH  
Point taken. So, where are we off to?

TONI  
I'm not one hundred percent sure myself, but I know it is the past and I know it wasn't pleasant for you, so I am looking forward to it.   
  
KETCH  
(mockingly)  
Why, Lady Bevel, where's your Christmas spirit?  
  
TONI  
Bah humbug.

  
Both figures disappear from the bunker.


	2. Christmas Past

**INT. MODEST HOUSE IN THE ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE - DAY**

KETCH and TONI are standing in the kitchen watching HESS talking to KETCH’S father.  YOUNG KETCH looks to be about 8.

TONI  
(surveying the room)  
Well this doesn’t look like an aristocratic home… and yet you always said…

KETCH  
(both embarrassed and annoyed)  
Yes, well, perhaps I exaggerated some… minor details about my background.

TONI  
That makes so much sense!  
  
KETCH  
So glad for you, but aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be having the revelations? Now, as per every film on this subject, I suppose they can’t see or hear us, correct?

TONI  
I knew you were a smart one! Now shut-up. I am simply fascinated to find out how you became the psychopath you are today.

HESS  
Arthur performed exceptionally well in every category. He is a truly remarkable boy.  You and your wife did an outstanding job. Kendrick’s would be honored to accept him. Full scholarship, of course.

KETCH’S FATHER  
Yes, his mum makes sure to… made sure to… put his education first.

HESS  
With his natural aptitude and your upbringing, Arthur will no doubt prevent things like what happened to your wife happen to others.

KETCH’S FATHER  
Did you hear that Arthur? You’re going to a posh school to learn to help people. This school will teach you how to stop things… like the thing that took your mum.

YOUNG KETCH  
Can’t I learn to do that here?

KETCH’S FATHER  
We don’t have the means, Arty. This place will be able to take way better care of you than I can.

HESS  
That’s right, Arthur.  You’ll have everything you need.

YOUNG KETCH  
No. I don’t want to leave!

KETCH’S FATHER  
Go on now with Dr. Hess here, son, I’ll come visit you real soon!

  
KETCH’S FATHER and HESS exchange glances that say “We both know you’ll never see him again.”

YOUNG KETCH  
Promise?

KETCH’S FATHER  
Yes, I promise. And you promise you’ll be smartest and bravest and best kid that place has ever seen.

YOUNG KETCH  
I promise.

They hug. Both trying not to cry and both failing.

HESS  
(with strained patience)  
Come along, Arthur.

HESS walks YOUNG KETCH out the door.   
  
TONI and KETCH remain in the kitchen as KETCH’S FATHER pours a generous drink and downs it far too quickly as he stares at the picture of his former family on the wall.   

KETCH  
(pulling himself together)  
Okay then, that was all very sad. Can we go now?

TONI  
Absolutely, cannot wait to see what’s next!  
  


**INT. DAY – KENDRICKS, HESS’S STUDY, 4 WEEKS LATER**

KETCH and TONI are now in Hess’s study where a YOUNG KETCH is being scolded.

HESS  
You know very well that you cannot run off like that!  
  
YOUNG KETCH  
Yes, Ma’am. I need to run off much more efficiently next time.

HESS  
Are you trying for another lashing?

YOUNG KETCH  
I am trying to go home.

HESS  
You are home

YOUNG KETCH  
My real home. To my father.

HESS  
Your father is a lovely man, for his sort. But you’re exceptional.  You need an equally exceptional family and the British Men of Letters is that family.

YOUNG KETCH  
I don’t want to be exceptional.

HESS  
No one does. Not if they understand what that means.  What that requires.

YOUNG KETCH  
I don’t like it here. Everyone is cold. Everything is cold.

HESS  
You'll find your place here. You’re special Arthur and with the right upbringing, the right training, the right discipline, you'll do a lot of good in the world and you'll never be alone.

Arthur is looking at the bookshelf and picks of a frames picture of a much younger Hess with a strikingly handsome man and adorable little boy about Arthur’s age.

YOUNG KETCH   
Is this your family?

HESS  
Yes, they... were.

YOUNG KETCH   
(looking intensely at the photo)  
Was it monsters? Like what hurt my mum?

HESS  
(close to a crack in her voice)  
It was very much like that.

YOUNG KETCH  
(puts the picture down and hugs a clearly unaccustomed to being hugged HESS)  
I’m sorry.

HESS  
(awkwardly pats him on the head)  
Thank you, Arthur. That’s very kind.  
  
YOUNG KETCH  
Dr. Hess, could someone exceptional have saved them?

HESS  
Yes, Arthur, I believe they could have.  
  
YOUNG KETCH  
(with resolve)  
Okay. I’ll stay.

TONI and KETCH watched the scene silently. KETCH tries to casually catch a tear before it escapes his eye.   

TONI  
See, you weren't always a monster.

KETCH  
Careful Lady Bevell, you don’t want to start feeling sorry for me.

TONI  
Oh, not to worry, Mr. Ketch. I am quite capable of feeling sorry for this child whilst maintaining a fiery hatred for what he became.

 

**INT. KENDRICKS, MAIN HALL – CHRISTMAS EVE  
**A 16-year-old KETCH is sitting by the fireplace reading and taking notes. Present day KECTH and TONI are standing to the side watching as a TEENAGE TONI rushes up to the boy. She is tipsy at best.

TEENAGE TONI  
Hey there, Arthur! What are you doing here all cute and alone?

TEENAGE KETCH  
Obviously, I’m engaged in a rousing game of cricket, and I’m about to spin ball the non-striker, so if you don’t mind….

TEENAGE TONI  
(leaning in close)  
Has anyone ever told you that you are like a stick that has a smaller stick shoved up its ass?

TEENAGE KETCH  
I can’t say that they have used that… exact phrasing. But this stick within a stick plans to graduate at the top of the class.

TEENAGE TONI  
Come on, take the night off. We’ve raided the headmaster’s office and have a full bottle of booze… the good kind. (pulls out a half-full bottle from her bag to show him) Well, it was a full bottle, but there is plenty left to share!

TEENAGE MICK  
(off camera)  
Bevy, where’d you go?

TEENAGE TONI  
(yells)  
Trying to convince Arthur to come play.

TEENAGE MICK  
(bounds into frame, more than tipsy)  
Arty! Yes… join us, mate! You’re always so boring… I mean serious. You should loosen up a little, or a lot… a whole lot… it’ll be good for you!

Voices of other students call from off camera.

TEENAGE MICK  
Be right there! Come on you two!

  
Mick runs off to meet the others.

TEENAGE TONI  
(takes a sprig of mistletoe out from her bag and drunk-whispers)  
Oh, and I also brought this…

TEENAGE KETCH  
What’s tha…..?

Before he finishes the question TEENAGE TONI holds the mistletoe over his head, gives him a quick peck on the cheek, jumps up and starts pulling him playfully by the arm.

TEENAGE TONI  
Let’s go!

TEENAGE KETCH  
(huffy but not putting up much of a struggle)  
Look, it’s very generous of you to ask, but I simply don’t have time for these shenanigans!

TEENAGE TONI  
(teasing)  
Well then, sir, lucky for you we’ve only chicanery planned!

TEENAGE KETCH  
(self-deprecating and clearly about to give in)  
Okay, okay… just promise me we won’t stray into ballyhoo…

TEENAGE TONI  
Oh, of course! There shan’t be the slightest amount, the tiniest hint, or the most minuscule **soupçon** of ballyhoo had, you have my word!  
  
TEENAGE MICK   
(off camera)  
Get your arses over here already!  

  
TEENAGE TONI and TEENAGE KETCH run off to join him, laughing.

PRESENT DAY TONI  
(sarcastically)  
Well, wasn’t that just adorable?

PRESENT DAY KETCH  
(non-sarcastically)  
Quite.

 

**INT. Flat – NIGHT.**

KETCH and TONI are standing in a small, tastefully decorated flat. The only light is coming in the windows from the street. No one is home, but there are voices in the hallway approaching the door.

Ketch  
Is this the night..?

TONI  
Yes. I believe so.

KETCH  
Fuck.

TONI and KETCH watch as Toni and Ketch enter apartment. Both are talking to the baby in Toni’s arms. They sit on the sofa, obviously exhausted, but still excited.

PAST TONI  
My god, he is beautiful.

PAST KETCH  
(teasingly)  
So much like his father!  
  
PAST TONI  
(not teasing)  
Yes. Very much so.   
  
PAST KETCH  
Well, now that I look more closely, I see a lot of his mother there too. And I hope that not the only resemblance.

PAST TONI  
Arthur, what do you think… have you ever thought of leaving the British men of Letters?

PAST KETCH  
What?

PAST TONI  
Leaving. Retiring from the violence and experiments and intrigue. Just getting boring jobs and a boring house and being utterly boring together…?

PAST KETCH  
When you put it that way…

PAST TONI  
You know what I mean. Do you want him growing up everything we do, everything we see?

PAST KETCH  
I want him growing up safely. In a place without monsters. Toni, if we leave, and one thing gets by that wouldn’t otherwise… if one innocent person…

PAST TONI  
England is secure and in no small part to what you’ve put in place. We can’t be responsible for everything that happens from now until we die. But we could make sure that this little boy never need know that vampires or werewolves are more than fiction.

PAST KETCH  
Even if I wanted to, people just don’t leave the organization.  At best we’d be cut off forever, at worst, hunted down ourselves.

PAST TONI  
We could talk to Hess. She loves you, she’d want you to be happy.

PAST KETCH  
You are greatly exaggerating sentimentalizing a relationship that is far more military than familial.   
  
PAST TONI  
I’m well beyond too tired for this and we’re sure to be woken up soon by this one, so let’s try to get some rest. Just please promise you’ll at least think about it and we can talk again sometime.

PAST KETCH  
Very well. A discussion for another time. I assure you I will give it serious consideration.

**INT. BEDROOM – MORNING  
**  
TONI is asleep in their bed with the baby. KETCH is quietly performing a spell. He holds his hand over her head. A Purple light emanates from his hand, dissipating around her head. 

PAST KETCH  
Good morning, my dear, and good… first morning to you little one!  
  
PAST TONI  
The first of so many firsts!  
  
PAST KETCH  
Speaking of, I spoke to Hess moments ago and she is coming over to meet him over lunch, if you think you’re up for it.  
  
PAST TONI  
Of course! How lovely… she must be so excited to meet the newest member of the British Men of Letters family!

TONI now realizing what PAST KETCH had done turns to him, furious.   
  
TONI  
You bastard! You utter, complete, devious, controlling…

KECTH  
Like you didn't manipulate me a hundred times over!  
  
TONI  
I never used magic against you… never cast a spell to get you to… do my biding.  
  
KECTH  
Do you expect me to believe that in all the time you were perfecting your little brain washy devices, you never once used them to sway me in one direction or another?

TONI  
(pissed but obviously guilty as charged)  
Well, as lovely as his was, I now find myself missing the murderous leviathan of purgatory...perhaps I’ll see you there someday…?  
  
KECTH  
Knowing the alternative, I’d say we are bound to cross paths again.

TONI vanishes leaving KETCH to watch the scene of the happy, half-brain-washed couple and newborn for another minute before everything goes dark.

 


End file.
